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Pappy's Happy One Liner's and Such!


Throughout the many years of personally knowing Harv (Pappy or Paw Paw to us), a person couldn't help but notice what I liked to call his, "many bouts with that ole' "Illinoisan wisdom type slanted verbiage."


It was a combination of down home good common sense, mixed with a little sprinkling of the Depression era survival instinct, wrapped up into a wiry little old man (Mr. Old Man To You!) we came to honor, respect and love.


So without further adieu, read our list of his sayings and remember this man....


Actually a "one in a million" type of a person you will never see on this earth again:


The List

(A living document  we will be adding to as we remember the prose he'd say)


Not in order of importance or any order at all!


1.  "You aint taken me down the pea patch!"


2.  "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."


3.  (Burping or farting, whichever comes first)  "Ummmmm, that

      was bout' as good coming out as it was going in."


4.  (Eating pork chops) "Mmmm that was good chicken."


5.  (Eating Chicken) "Mmmmmm that was good pork."


6.  (Telling Paw Paw we're leaving for the day) "Is that a threat or a  promise?"


7.  (Looking at everyone and pointing) "You're my buddy."


8.  "That's good enough for the girls I go with!"


9.  "You know what we should do with Congress? We should fire the entire group of 'em and get people in there who know what it means to do a day's work!"


10. "Awwww that's a bunch of Horse Hockey and you know it!"


11. (Pointing) "Don't you dare try to out Bullshit a Bullshitter!"


12. "I wouldn't give ya two cents for a John Deere tractor."


13. "Why either vote Republican or Democrat, it's the same thing anyway."


14. (The Chicago Cubs, my favorite team would be losing a game by at least 5 or so runs, and I would be sitting there at his house all depressed): (In an afternoon stupor Paw Paw would wake up, Point his long old finger at me and say,) "You mark my words young man, the Cubs will win today." And they NEVER FAILED to lose when he'd say it!


15. "Oh she's probably 'gallivanting' round here somewheres'."


16. (Smiling) "Whatever floats ure' boat."


17. (An object could be 20 years old and rusting, or ripped up, or moldy, or anything deteriorative and...) "That can be fixed, leave it here."


18. "Kids today have no idea whatsoever of the value of a dollar."


19. "Music? You call that crap music (alluding to rap or rock or any loud modern music made after 1945)...Now take Glen Miller (smiling, Thaaaaaaaat's music."


20. "If it don't bite back I'll eat it."




Pappy's Happy One Liner's and Such!

And if that wasn't enough for ya, here's some more.....


The List Continued

(A living document  we will be adding to as we remember the prose he'd say)


Not in order of importance or any order at all!


21. "Oh that's a good'n."


22. "I'm about to throw that damn thing (computer) right out the window!"


23. "I hated going to any Chinese restaurant that didn't COMPLETELY cook their vegetables. They'd try to serve us them raw vegetables and me and Mother (his wife Audrey) would walk right out."


24. "Take 4 to 6 aspirin a day and you'll never get sick." (He did this to the day he died at 90 years old and I never saw him sick!)


25. "I told Audrey (wife) I could find that EXACT same dress at Wal-Mart for a quarter the price. She didn't believe me either until she followed and there it was, the same thing without the fancy designer tag no one is going to see anyways."


26. "My computer's goin' ape-shit!"


27. When Leann would be cleaning his house and he'd worry about her bad back, he would say….”Will you sit down already?!  It’ll all still be here tomorrow!’


28. “It’ll all come out in the wash.”


29. “Stop worrying about it.”


30. “If I’ve got it to lend, I’ve got it to give.”


31. When calling Harv a dirty old man his reply was:  “That’s MISTER dirty old man to YOU!”


32. When Harv got “cleaned up” he’d say:  “Ain’t I purdy?” and then strut around like a peacock.


33. “Ahhhh, piss on it!


34. "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is urine so call it wee wee."


35. "Shit fire. Save matches!"


36. "Don't take life too seriously. You won't make it out alive anyway."



If you knew Pappy personally and have some "one liners" you'd like to see added to the site, please send them to me and I will add them to the list!



To be continued....

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